The New Year’s resolutions are locked in. Three weeks into the new year, you now have quiet permission to have a donut.
If you go to Dunkin’ Donuts, be on the lookout for the rarely seen, legendary Butternut Blueberry donut. Clocking in at 420 calories… well, let me just say this: If you’re going down, go down in flames with this beauty.
Me, I’m a jelly donut guy. Pedestrian? Yes. But don’t skimp me on the jelly. There’s nothing I hate more than having to eat half the donut before hitting the jelly load. You’ve heard of road rage? It’s nothing compared to not enough jelly rage. Wars have started that way, I think.
Props have to be given to be given to the Krispy Kreme old-fashioned glazed donut. This is still the gold standard in the industry. Get ’em hot. Look for the Hot Light. No we’re not at DEFCON 5, but hot donuts ARE coming out of the oven. At 190 calories, I think you can have two.
You know, the late fitness guru Jack LaLanne used to say he can’t die because it would ruin his image. Before he died though, he said “A lot of people have a donut and coffee for breakfast. That diet would kill your dog. Why do that to yourself?”
I tell ya why Jacko: It tastes really good. And, it’s only one day. Still, saying that has me wallowing in a sea of guilt. Would you believe it? Would you believe a pond? Okay, a puddle.
If I may digress a moment – and I will – we have a robot on Mars. We have lasers to repair eyesight; remove tattoos and body hair and lord knows what else. We have virtual reality retina displays. And yet, yet we can’t invent a healthy donut.
The dream of a healthy donut will probably not be realized in my lifetime. Until then I give myself – and you, gentle reader – permission to eat a donut tomorrow.
One jelly and a large regular coffee please.